Vivid, isn't it?This post is about how to do that with the limited resources at my disposal and imagining myself to be the dead person. I specify that I am to be the guest of honor because, frankly, not everyone would want to have his “story” told in this way. I think I would like it—prospectively, of course—but I also think it could be justified only on the grounds that the people attending the service would be benefitted by it.
That brings me to my two questions for this post. The first is: for whom is the memorial service? The second is: is there a way to approximate a Speaker for the Dead?
There is a cheap answer to the first question. The service is for the survivors. Who else could it possibly be for? Not for me, certainly. But that simple answer leads, as they often do, to a more complicated question: what is it that will benefit the survivors? The service needs to be about my life. That is, after all, why people are there. All the people who come, with the exception of a very small number of young people, will have one eye on my life and death and the other on their own current lives and approaching deaths. So whatever happens in the service ought to be the kind of reflection on my life that helps them appreciate its true significance. (I defer, briefly, the question of what its true significance was.) In that way, it ought to help them think about the true significance of their own lives.
In saying that I would like to help the survivors “think about” their lives, I don’t mean anything teacherish. I mean only that if my story is told properly, it will be richer and more complex than anyone there knew. It will be brighter and darker than they knew will be more vivid and it will feel more “true.” [ Footnote 1:In this point, I am relying on a fairly dicey notion of true. On the other hand, nearly everyone has had the experience of finding out the full story of some event and comparing it unfavorably to the version of that event that was available at the time. When you heard the current account of that event, it was unsatisfying. It felt flat; without adequate features. When the full story comes out, it doesn’t feel flat anymore. The “missing” features—the ones you had no names for—are restored. It is at that point that you realize that somewhere inside you, you had a “feeling for the truth.” You couldn’t give it a name or describe its shape, but you knew it well enough that when it is presented, you recognize it as the “truth” you were missing. That’s what I mean by “feel more true.”
I think people will be helped to understand that their own lives are like that. They themselves are seeing only one face of it and when the fuller story is known it will be more than they could have known it to be. “More” includes both better and worse. No one benefits from a candy-coated life.

So, to review, the survivors will sense as they hear the full and vivid story of my life, that there is a full and vivid story of their lives as well and that they should be open to every intimation of just what it might be. They might want to try to live into it a little.
But, beginning on the second question now, all this relies on my own life being told. The model we are working from requires a Speaker for the Dead and we don’t have one. I think we can come close, though. If the story of my life could be told in a way that took into account the very different perspectives of the people who knew me, that story could rich in a “Speaker for the Dead” kind of way. Again, that sounds easy but if you have ever seen it tried, you know it is not.
Picture forty people, each waiting his turn to toss some anecdote into the pot. A lot of these stories are not about my life, except by distant reference. They are about the life of the teller, who is truly grateful for this opportunity to “share.” And speaker ten said just what speaker twenty wanted to say, so speaker twenty has to wing it. [Footnote 2: There would actually be a delicious irony if that came about. So many of the events of my life have been just like that and, put on the spot, I said things I had never said and had never heard before. Sometimes they turned out to be important for me and for some others as well. To have that happen at my memorial service would be worth a large communal laugh over beer afterward.]
For these and many other reasons, a “you'all come” story fest doesn’t work.
My best solution so far is to have someone whose job it is to shape those materials into a narrative. I asked my son, Dan, some years ago if he would do that for me and he said he would. And he could do it, too. Dan is like a really good tight end. He’s got good soft hands, so the ball doesn’t have to be right on target. And he can take a hit and get up and run that same route again without flinching. Those are pretty rare, together. And, he has known me all his life, which ought to count for something.
Dan would be accountable for the vividness of the story. If you want to think of the story as a tapestry, Dan would actively invite the holders of red threads and blue threads, etc. to make those threads available. He would seek out, if necessary, the black threads. That’s why I need someone who can take a hit. He doesn’t search for the black threads because he wants to emphasize the dark parts of my life. Only an enemy would do that and Dan is a friend. Dan searches for them because he knows I want a vivid tapestry and it isn’t going to vivid without dark threads. So it is friendship that sends him out looking for the holders of dark threads. Dan is lucky, in a sense, because he can find quite a few dark threads withouteven going outside the family. It will be a short commute for him.

I’m not counting on Dan to be my Speaker for the Dead. I am counting on him to believe three things: a) that my “real life” was richer (or at least, more complicated) than any of the participants knows; b) that if he doesn’t actively intervene, his father’s life is going to be presented as superficial and unpersuasive; and c) that he has my blessing to go wherever those threads are that my tapestry is short of. Since his father was a Duck, he will know where to go for the yellow and green ones, but who knows where the burnt umber threads are? The battleship gray threads? The dark and stormy night threads? Who will bring them into the public view, if asked, in order to make a richer and more vivid (and more honest) tapestry?
The second point is that as a Christian, I do believe that the whole of my story is known. And I believe that the most truly significant truth of my life is whether I really did consent to play the part that moves God’s story on toward its providential conclusion. And not only did I consent, but I also trained for it and gave it my full attention. I believe that we can’t know those things, so as we remember those who have passed away from us, we ask the best questions we can and give the best answers we can and call it good enough.
Good enough sounds pretty good to me.


This Speaker for the Dead business is going to require just a little bit of explaining, so I’ll start that right away. First, Speaker for the Dead is a marvelous book by Orson Scott Card. It is one of the series that began with Ender’s Game. Second, the Speaker for the Dead is the name of an office. It is the responsibility of those who hold this office to come when they are called, to find out the truth of the life being remembered, and to tell that truth, whether what he says confirms the opinions of the people who knew him, contradicts their opinions, or expands their opinions into wholly new and unimagined constructs which deny nothing and revalue everything.
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What nobody seems to have foreseen is the possibility that Steve might really fall for Kate. Not just take advantage of pretending to be her husband, but actually want a real relationship with her. That is just what happens, though. And no sooner has Steve realized that this is the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with than he realizes that the demands of pretending to be “the Joneses” will prevent him from doing that. They can’t really be husband and wife while they are pretending to be Mr. and Mrs. Jones.
The diagram shows economic, social, and political sectors. My argument is that to the extent that the needs of the citizens are met in the social sector (families, schools, neighborhoods, clubs, etc.) and in the economic sector (producers make money, consumers receive affordable goods and services, employees receive a living wage), there will no appeal to the political sector. The size of government, accordingly, will shrink. So will the proportion of the GNP it consumes and the power it gets from making authoritative decisions on the appeals made to it by dissidents in the economic and social sectors.



The strategic principle was that people would continue to transact their business within the sector they were taught was appropriate. Things like buying and selling and producing and consuming goods and services “belong in” the economy. Things like expressing a religious faith, holding any view at all about anything at all, and producing something you think is beautiful all “belong in” society. We are all taught, more by example than by precept, what belongs where and by and large, we pay no more attention to it than that.
Just what the रेलातिओंस are of each to the other will be the continuing investigation. I am going to be known as the guy who put the odd- in odyssey, I suppose, but it would by only an –yssey if it weren’t for people like me. For now, I want to suggest one rule for using the diagram and note a couple of implications.