It is Saturday Night, after all. Time for an All-American Post.
Stephen Colbert on Capitol Hill. Not over on the Capital mall, where he should be, preparing for his March to Keep Fear Alive. He was testifying before the Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, and Border Security of the House Judiciary Committee. They wanted to hear his views about how hard it is to bend over in the field all day picking beans.
Colbert arrived before the committee in his complete right wing nutcase persona. I can’t remember whether witnesses before congressional committees are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Probably not. If they did, it would present a real challenge to a comic who has foresworn “truth” in favor of “truthiness.”
If Colbert was feeling a little daunted by his appearance before one of the more august committees of the House, he didn’t show it. He complained that stooping over all day was hard, but worse, was completely unnecessary. There is no reason, he said, why beans have to be grown at ground level, where they are so hard to pick. They should be grown at waist level. And he thought that a nation that could put a man on the moon ought to be able to do that.
That particular idea might strike you as far-fetched, but he did have a more practical solution. All this painful labor is made necessary by the demand for vegetables. The “obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables — and if you look at the recent obesity statistics you’ll see that many Americans have already started.”
Needless to say, Congressmen are not accustomed to being treated like this. At home in the district, sure, but not behind the committee table. It is therefore understandable that a member might think that tut-tutting Mr. Colbert would be in order. Not a good idea. This is Comedy Central we’re looking at.
Representative Lamar Smith, R-TX did go so far as to ask, “Does one day in the field make you an expert witness?”
“I believe that one day of me studying anything makes me an expert,” Mr. Colbert replied.
Stephen Colbert on Capitol Hill. Not over on the Capital mall, where he should be, preparing for his March to Keep Fear Alive. He was testifying before the Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, and Border Security of the House Judiciary Committee. They wanted to hear his views about how hard it is to bend over in the field all day picking beans.
Colbert arrived before the committee in his complete right wing nutcase persona. I can’t remember whether witnesses before congressional committees are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Probably not. If they did, it would present a real challenge to a comic who has foresworn “truth” in favor of “truthiness.”
If Colbert was feeling a little daunted by his appearance before one of the more august committees of the House, he didn’t show it. He complained that stooping over all day was hard, but worse, was completely unnecessary. There is no reason, he said, why beans have to be grown at ground level, where they are so hard to pick. They should be grown at waist level. And he thought that a nation that could put a man on the moon ought to be able to do that.
That particular idea might strike you as far-fetched, but he did have a more practical solution. All this painful labor is made necessary by the demand for vegetables. The “obvious answer is for all of us to stop eating fruits and vegetables — and if you look at the recent obesity statistics you’ll see that many Americans have already started.”
Needless to say, Congressmen are not accustomed to being treated like this. At home in the district, sure, but not behind the committee table. It is therefore understandable that a member might think that tut-tutting Mr. Colbert would be in order. Not a good idea. This is Comedy Central we’re looking at.
Representative Lamar Smith, R-TX did go so far as to ask, “Does one day in the field make you an expert witness?”
“I believe that one day of me studying anything makes me an expert,” Mr. Colbert replied.
Actually, as I recall, his point about where the beans should grow was even funnier than your recounting of it, since he said that the ground should be at waist level.
ReplyDeleteI thought the appearance was moderately amusing, but I'm not sure it accomplished anything. I'm afraid this is just more fodder for the right wingers who already think we're wasting time on the wrong things.
His cause was just, but the way in which he approached it might not be the best way to get support.
I suppose, except that it wasn’t Comedy Central we were watching, or isn’t it important to viewers to tell the difference? I know, in advertising, many inane things have been said to corral people into stores (“Save up to 70%, AND MORE!). The new Campbell’s Chunky Soup commercial is no exception. Its opening line: “If you've just eaten a greasy dinner, chances are it was filled with fat.” I’m not kidding.
ReplyDeleteSo Colbert appeared at the hearing for not much more than celebretizing the event. A “circus” for the public? But what was the effect? I didn’t hear ANYTHING about the rest of the testimony given that day or anything else about the cause—just Colbert’s schtick--five minutes of snipes and gripes and not much content. That sort of defines modern entertainment, doesn’t it? And tell me again, why was Entertainment at the hearing?
I read that Colbert’s speech “varied widely” from the draft he had released (I’m not sure that’s true), so perhaps the panel was taken by surprise. Maybe. And also I understand that a little levity in a hearing can ease tensions and give everyone a break, but Colbert’s shallow persona, paired with such a shallow presentation, made me wonder why he wasn’t gaveled. If nothing else, what a waste of time, though, thankfully, not much time. Colbert is okay-funny in his element, but I’d rather Congressional Hearings NOT become Comedy Central.
Yup. You're right, Doug. Now that you say it, I remember hearing it that way and it really is funnier that way.
ReplyDeleteBonnie, you are surely right in placing this performance in the same category as the Chunky Soup commercials. On the other hand, at the Times reported it, there was a moment when he stopped and thought about the actual experience of stoop labor and said how painful it was. I thought that might have been worth something to the committee and Colbert's is the ONLY testimony I heard about from that subcommittee hearing. So some good may come from it yet.